


Things I Know That You Don’t Know I Know

by FicFanFun



Category: Hogan's Heroes (TV 1965)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:35:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24884692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FicFanFun/pseuds/FicFanFun
Summary: Robert Hogan has a few observations about each of his men, and his men in various combinations.
Comments: 22
Kudos: 33





	1. Carter

There are quite a few things I know that you don’t know I know.

Like you, Carter. I see how you close your eyes and pray before every meal. I know you try not to be conspicuous, because the other guys would razz the hell out of you. Sometimes they notice, and you do it anyway.

I see how you read most of your letters out loud, and save them all, except for the ones from your crazy Uncle Jerry. You burn those after a quick read, and I have to wonder why.

I see how you sign those letters to your mom. “Andy.” “Yours Always, Andy.” “Your boy, Andy.” I can’t imagine anyone here calling you that, but I guess nobody’s going to call me Bobby either.

I see how you squirrel away your cigarettes and slip a few into Newkirk’s stash when he’s running low. And on behalf of every man in Barracks 2, I am profoundly grateful that Newkirk never runs out.

I see how you slip a note onto Kinch’s bunk at night when he’s still working while we all get to bed. And I see the nod he gives you in the morning, and how he sometimes closes his eyes when you do at meals. 

I see that you’re not as clueless as you’d like us to think. You have some pretty ingenious ideas for getting under the Krauts’ skin, and they are not the product of an innocent mind.

I see how tough you are. You don’t seem tough on the surface, but you take more shit than any man in camp, and you do it with dignity. That’s mental toughness.

I see how strong you are. You and Kinch are the only ones who hit the gym regularly, doing sit-ups and push-ups and then running three miles a day in laps around the camp. You’re disciplined.

When I come in from a mission late at night and I see you in your bunk, I see that purity ring on your hand and I wonder how difficult that must be, especially with Peter “Morning, Noon and Evening” Newkirk as your neighbor. I need to find a way to mention that it’s normal (well, not the way Newkirk does it) and that God probably wouldn’t disapprove if you exercised that thing once in a while, since He created it.


	2. Kinchloe

There’s a lot I know about you that you don’t know I know, too, Kinch.

Like how you sign your name “James” on letters to your dad and brothers and older sister and your uncle, but “Jamie” to your mom and grandmother and your kid sister, and “Ivan” to a couple of your high school teachers. I guess your middle name was your way of experimenting or standing out in high school. 

I see how you meticulously take care of your things —everything from your socks to your books to your razor blade to your baseball gets cleaned and put away in its place.

I see how you track every conversation happening around you without ever moving your head. If your ears could rotate, they probably would because you never miss a thing.

I see how you always take notes. You’re always jotting down details that might be important later.

I see how you keep LeBeau grounded by speaking French with him. It’s like you have a sixth sense about when he just needs to hear his language spoken.

I’ve noticed you’ve got sophisticated tastes. Not just in food, though you are the only guy besides LeBeau who can pronounce _bouillabaisse_ , and also the only one who knows what a _rouille_ or Provençal anything is. You also know your Beethoven, Bach and Brahms.

I notice how just your hand on his shoulder is enough to calm Newkirk down when he’s about to fly off the handle again, and how he can actually hear it when you quirk an eyebrow.

I’ve seen how much you like the ladies, starting with that first time we met Tiger, and also how you put the brakes on any outward expression of any lust you may feel. Damn, I wish I had your self-control.

Having said that, I have definitely seen you charm a lady right into your arms, starting with that gorgeous Carol Dukes in Paris. You deserved that, Kinch.

I’ve seen you groom that mustache of yours with the same care and precision you bring to your work.

I've seen you throw a punch in the boxing ring, and I’ve seen you hold punches back literally everywhere else. It takes a strong man not to use his physical strength when it would be so satisfying to do so.

When I look at you, I see a confident strength of spirit. I see a man who knows who he is and where he’s going. And I see a man I’d trust with my life.


	3. LeBeau

You’re an open book, LeBeau. But even you have your secrets. Just not from me.

Your passions are there for all to see. Your country, your food, women, your family and your friends.

They’re the same thing, really—your family and friends. Because more than anyone, you have made us all brothers. 

You gather us close for meals. You look after everyone. You keep us nourished in more ways than one, with your fiery convictions and deep beliefs constantly reminding us what we’re fighting for. No one could miss that.

But I see more. I see that you’re the first one up every morning and the last one to bed. 

I see that you’re the first to volunteer and the last to back down.

I see that you’re the smallest but also the toughest. 

You’re not the most complicated man on the team—I think we all know who gets that prize—but you are the most intense.

When you wake in the morning, you check on your friends. You know almost before they do whether they have slept well or fitfully, whether their day will be easy or hard.

When you go to sleep at night, you check on them again. You count them off and make sure they are comfortable.

You don’t look at another man and see him as larger than yourself. You don’t see size at all. You see something else.

You see need. You see determination. You see fear and you see courage. And you shrug. Of course, you help them see, all these parts go together.

You take care of everyone, but one man is special to you. Because you’ve been together longest. Because you’re exact opposites and yet the most alike. Because somehow you understand one another.

Some people look and smirk at you two and think they know what draws you together. But it’s not that. Not at all. 

You're gentle with him. You’re tender with him. And somehow he takes it from you and draws strength. No one else could get away with what you do; not with him. You’ve made yourself the brother he looks up to, all sixty inches of you.

.


	4. Newkirk

You are, without a doubt, the biggest bundle of contradictions I’ve ever met.

Somber, but funny. Quiet, but outspoken. Coarse, yet sophisticated. Uneducated, but smart as a whip. Cool on the outside, but blazing with purpose inside.

And the bravest coward I’ve ever known.

No member of this team, myself included, has better instincts for blending into the shadows. No one would have an easier time disappearing. But you stay. You choose to stay.

I see the cogs turning. One thing motivates you: The belief that you can and should and must and will protect everyone.

All right, another thing motivates you: The belief that you can’t and shouldn’t and mustn’t and won’t be protected yourself. 

You not only expect to be sacrificed, thrown to the wolves, grassed on, every single time; you think you deserve to be, because everyone else is worth more than you. And you’re shocked when anyone turns up to help you.

And yet.

I’ve never been sure how it came to be so, but only one man can subdue you, and that man’s LeBeau. 

I see you’re gentle and on rare occasions actually a bit needy. When LeBeau hands you a cup of coffee or pats your arm, your face softens with the warmth and comfort of home. I don’t think you’ve chosen a physical partner in this place—though if anyone could hide that, it would be you. But if you were going to be intimate, it would be with the one man who has your complete trust. I’m certain of that.

You have, however, chosen one person with whom to be vulnerable, and it’s him. There is a reason that no one, ever, ever, calls you by your first name but LeBeau. And there’s a reason he can kiss you on the cheek or hop up on your back like two kids playing in a schoolyard. It’s called connection. I might even say love, but I don’t want you to punch me.

And by the way, I can see you understand French perfectly well and can speak it better than you let on. You actually DO have an ear for languages, despite what I said in the Swedes’ farmhouse that time.

I see you go where you’re needed. Before we got Baker into the rotation, you were the only one who could back up Kinch on the radio. 

Alone among us, you'd never met a black man in your life. But when you looked at Kinch, you never saw anything but a man. And unlike almost everyone else, you sized him up and decided instantly that he was better than you. 

I see you’re patient. You make it look like you’re long suffering, but you are the one who listens to all of Carter’s stories and spends the most time just being his friend.

You are the best friend. There’s a reason no one can decide if you’re closest to LeBeau or Carter. The friendships are both deep, but they are different. Carter is your best mate; LeBeau is your soul mate.

Most of all, I see you’re no coward. You throw the word around enough to make us all think you might be hesitant to risk your neck. But you’re not hesitating. While everyone else is thinking of reasons to say yes, you’re trying to think of reasons to say no, and coming up empty handed again.

Your loyalty is undying and it’s deeply, deeply personal. And therefore, so is everyone’s.

You’re the heart of this operation, Peter. Not that I’d ever call you Peter. Not here, not now. But someday, if we get through this alive, I’d like to just be your friend.


End file.
